Karkat x self harming!Reader

Karkat Vantas... He meant so much to you. Karkat has helped you through so much and he doesn't even notice it, hell if he did he would probably walk away... At least THATS what you thought. You had a huge flush crush on him considering how much he has helped you through life.


Ring-ring-ring-ring! It was your phone. A picture of you and karkat appeared, he was smiling in the picture and you both looked so happy. Karkat was calling you for some odd reason.
 

  "Hello?"
  "WHERE ARE YOU ______?! IVE BEEN WORRIED SICK FOR YOU BECAUSE YOURE NOT HERE!"
   Wait, did he just say he's worried sick because you're not there?
   "What are you talking about karkles? You never invited me over!" You chuckled
   "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I- DONT CALL ME THAT STUPID NAME..." You could tell he was blushing over the phone, whenever you said that when you were around him he would always blush.
    "JUST GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW AT THIS VERY SECOND!"

  You got up but felt something very familiar, something you always feel when you get nervous for something... You began having a panic attack, no, this can't be happening now! Karkat wants you over at this very second! You took some anxiety pills along with your anti depressant pills. You grabbed your coat and put it on, as soon as you were walking out the apartment door you put your hand in your pocket just to keep it warm and cozy... But instead you felt something else, something cold and sharp... No this can't happen, you're not going to relapse... Not after two months of a perfectly clean wrist!


~time skip brought to you by: Tavros and Gamzee horrible raps~


You walked to karkats hive and knocked on the door, Kankri answered
"Hi Kankri!" You pulled a fake smile and hugged Kankri
 "________ I am delighted you are here but you can not simple invade my personal space like that it is very triggering and rude! Have you not learned about personal space because it seems you have not _______! Invading ones space can be a trigger and you just triggered me!" Kankri Went on and on, only to be stopped by karkat
 "NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR LECTURES KANKRI JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!"
  You didn't really care about kankris lectures, although they were actually very interesting to listen to. You gave Kankri a "I'm sorry" face and pushed karkats chest towards the living room space and sat him on the couch, while you plopped beside him.

  "SO WERE GOING TO WATCH MEAN GIRLS 2 A- _______ WHY ARE YOU STILL WEARING YOUR COAT?!" He gave you a concerned face. Oh no. Oh god no not now. You looked around the room to think about an excuse. "Oh um.. It was just very cold outside."  but no worries! You have a long sleeve under anyway... You took your coat off and under was a long sleeve. He shrugged it off and put in a mean girls DVD in to the tray.

Oh no... The panic attack is really getting to you and it's starting to scare you a little, those damn pills haven't kicked in yet. All you want to do is forget the pain...

"Hey karkat. I'm just going to go to the bathroom, okay?" You walked to the bathroom and opened the door, and then shutting it. You took the blade out of the pocket and held it in your hand. The blade was shiny, and very sharp... The blade was only about 3 centimeters away from hitting your skin, and you closed that 3 centimeter gap. Quickly. You slashed and sliced your skin. So much pain was released... Blood was coming out of your wrists and it was coming out fast. You cleaned the floor that had blood on it, you cleaned your wrists because of the blood and put the blade back in your coat pocket. You walked out with your sleeves pulled down, the thing you didn't know, is that the blood is seeping through your sweater. You put the coat on the coat hanger and sat down next to karkat.

 "DO YOU WANT A BLANKET? IT GETS PRETTY COLD IN HERE."
 Why was he being so nice to you? He's never nice to anyone...
 "Sure!"
 "ALRIGHT..."
 Karkat got up and walked to the linen cabinet to get a blanket, he then sat back down.
 It was a bright red blanket
 He put it around you gently and you blushed a little and put your arms over the top of it.
Karkat looked at you one last time before hitting press play.

*Karkats POV*
______ is my favorite person in the whole world. She means a lot to me. I have a flush crush on her but she wouldn't like a yelling, angry troll like me... She's always happy around everyone and I'm always angry... I love her and I can't let her go...

Before I pressed play, I looked at ________. She's been acting weird lately, she hasn't been herself and she always hides..
The blanket somehow... Under her arms...  A darker shade of red...

*your POV*
Karkat looked at you in a weird way, he saw something under your arm but you ignored it.

"_________... WHAT IS THAT....?"
He saw blood on the blanket... But you didn't even know yet...
"Hmm?" You hummed.
Karkat grabbed your arm and lifted up your sleeves..

Karkats eyes filled with sadness and pain...

"________... TELL ME WHO MADE YOU DO THIS..." Karkat already began to cry. With candy red tears rushing down his face
"I can't..."  Tears were also rushing down your face.
"________ TELL ME. WHO MADE YOU. DO THIS." He said in a demanding voice while his voice cracked
You didn't answer. You couldn't. You were crying too hard and it seemed impossible to talk.
Karkat engulfed you in a hug and kissed your head, rocking back and forth.
"IM FLUSHED FOR YOU _______..."
what did he say? Did he say he's flushed for you
"Flushed for you too Karkat... " you talked between cries
Karkat pulled away and kissed your forehead
"KANKRI GET ME SOME BANDAGES..."

*a few minutes later*


Karkat was wrapping the bandages and some gauze around your red arms, you flinched when he touched the recent cuts you had, you started to yawn. Karkat was being a softy towards you, he wrapped you up on the couch and curled up next to you, holding your arms to make sure you would never leave his embrace.